Three (MEGA) Tips for Creating that AWESOME Personal Network.
"It's not what you know, it's who you know". How many times have you heard that phrase?
How many times have you felt exasperated with that phrase because you didn't feel like you 'knew' anyone?
How many times have you heard that phrase?
Has that phrase ever frustrated you because you didn't feel like you 'knew' anyone?
All is not lost. Making connections and knowing people isn't just about being born in the right family or going to the right school. It can also be a result of proactively cultivating a group of people around you who are not only a great support network, but encourage and inspire your growth.
Wondering how to get there? Well, here are a few steps to get you started...
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1. Go to all the random events related to your sector (and then TALK to people!)
I have lost count of the number of random events I have attended (quite often by myself) because I wanted to learn something or thought it would be useful. These talks, conferences and breakfasts were the are how I started to cultivate a support network within the worlds I was interested in.
Start with the professional body for your sector. In engineering for example, the first port of call would be the Engineers Australia website and event page.
The next step would be to register for all the events you are interested in or have interesting people speaking.
If you are nervous at the prospect of going alone, perhaps take a friend or work colleague.
It always helps if you arrive earlier, as the room will fill around you. Also, if there are only three people in the room, you're likely to end up talking to each other.
Suppress the urge to nurse a drink and stand in a corner. Remember everyone is there to meet people too! They won't mind if you strike up a conversation. If you are finding it difficult, start with the basics:
- Open with something about the event - it is a good common ground to talk about (you're both there for a reason after all!)
- Ask where they are from or what they do, and pay attention to the answer! (Not only is that respectful and you might learn something new, but it always helps down the line)
- If you walk into a room by yourself and everyone is already in small groups, you can always try catching the eye of someone and asking "do you guys mind if I join in?". More often than not they will be more than happy to bring you into the fold and they will already be talking about a topic ("so what were you guys talking about?") so you're all set!
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2. Get in contact with the people you met within three days.
So you've attended your event, you have a couple of key business cards and email addresses, the next step is to actually follow up!
Within three days is usually ideal - they shouldn't have forgotten you by then. A short email of introduction usually works, with perhaps a link to something useful or a reference to something you discussed. For example...
"Hi Mr M&M,
I hope this email finds you well! Just a quick note to say that it was fantastic meeting at the Engineers Australia talk on Monday night. It was great having a chat to you about the developments in the gas industry in Queensland; I definitely learnt a lot! I particularly enjoyed your comments about the importance of a company's social licence to operate.
I actually came across this link about gas developments on Curtis Island yesterday that I thought you might be interested in.
Anyhow, I would love to stay in touch - perhaps we can catch up for a coffee sometime in the next few weeks?
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Kindest regards..."
Short, sweet, and to the point.
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3. Stay in contact with them!
One of the best pieces of advice I got about keeping my network alive was to send people postcards on my trips to stay on people's radar. This works particularly well with busier people who might meet thousands of new people a year!
Emailing the person right after you meet them is all well and good, but the key is in developing that relationship. In that first email, offer to shout them a coffee, and then organise a time and follow through.
Even if you are completely scared and not sure what you would talk about, just ask to catch up! I once asked a random Head of Mechanical Engineering of a company out for a coffee after an event I attended. It lead to a job offer. You won't know if you don't try...
If that makes you uncomfortable or isn't feasible, at least stay in contact with them via email, phone or letter.
What I usually do is meet up with the person within a month or two, and then send a 'catch up' email or card at least once or twice a year. It may not sound like much, but it is all about maintaining that network and keeping it alive.
Sending a hand written card is a surefire way to get yourself noticed and remembered. Festive seasons are also a great time to send cards to your networks and friends. Get creative...
I love writing cards to people, and the hand written note is usually appreciated. It adds a personal touch, and is uncommon enough that it won't get lost in the black holes of inboxes. That is if you send it to the correct address of course...
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At the end of the day, remember that everyone you meet is a human being. We all are people with stories, personalities, likes, dislikes, ideas and experiences. The way I see it, 'networking' is a dry and impersonal term for 'meeting new people' or 'making friends' - making friends with cool, interesting, random people who operate in similar (or very different) circles to your own.
Some people see it differently - they see 'networking' as a purely focused or business based exercise. Perhaps...
In my opinion though, you shouldn't go to an event soley to 'network', you should go to learn something, meet new people and gain an experience. If you come out from the event with a few cards and a lead for a job that is great, but there is so much more in valuing each and every experience and person you meet on their own merits, and not on what they can offer you. Remember, it's not all about you either. Make sure you give back! That's a whole other blog post though...
So get out there, have some fun and meet new people! What are your tips?
The Wisdom of the Dalai Lama in Person.
The Young Minds Conference being held at Sydney Town Hall had a lucky guest for the opening session on the 17th of June - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama.
I was fortunate to be a part of the fantastic panel that flanked the Dalai Lama, including the moderator Simon Longstaff, and Professors Deborah Harcourt and Carla Rinaldi.
Check out the official conference's blog here...
What a session! The topic was huge, "How to grow a good person".
What a topic indeed...
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Justice cannot be done to the morning by recounting a few simple words, but I will do my best!
An unexpected surprise was the Dalai Lama's candour and sense of humour (especially at his own expense - it's awesome to know I'm not the only one who laughs at my own jokes!). It is easy to forget in those simple moments that he is Nobel Laureate and the religious leader of his people.
What did he say?
He talked about the importance of family and the kindness of his mother, who 'never showed an angry face'.
He laughed about life as a young student who was only interested in playing, as all kids are.
He ruminated on the secular nature of ethics and morals...
He took us on a journey of a spiritual man who sees goodness as not being the sole property of those with religion, but of humanity.
This, he stressed.
'We should teach morals and ethics as a curriculum subject!'
His emphasis was profound.
To him, the values of love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, respect and the like are not values that we should, as religious folk, be protective of but should share, as they are humanity's values.
Instead, they are secular morals that are based on biological factors that are about keeping humanity going. It was an interesting argument, and one that gives much food for thought.
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A profound experience. I've had the blessing of speaking with His Holiness before, however this experience was a little different. Perhaps because I saw his obvious love for children; for their predilection to play, enjoy and be affectionate. We had a number of young people join us on the stage to ask questions; he would hold their hands, laugh with them, get them to sit on his lap...much like any elder gentlemen would treat his own grandchildren perhaps?
Let children be children, let them play and let them love, was his message.
However, don't let us forget that we can learn from children, from their abandonment, for their honest curiosity and humanity. Let us learn from them. Let us focus on secular morals and value them more in society.
Some among us have a wealth of wisdom to share.
The Dalai Lama is one of these men.
Regardless of differences in belief, it is important to reflect on the wisdom shared, relate it back to one's own beliefs and understand the univeral importance of humanity.
There is beauty - flawed and imperfect - but beauty nonetheless, in our collective humanity. For that reminder, I am grateful Alhamdulilah!
We had some strange visitors on the rig...
Stop Just Looking For Happiness.
A stroll in the self-help section of any bookstore, electronic or otherwise, will offer a wide and varying selection on how to achieve the illusive state of "happiness".
"Happiness" seems to be a state to which we should aspire to achieve and embody. However, this doesn't seem to answer all the questions.
if we are all trying so hard to be happy, to de-stress, de-clutter and distance ourselves from anything that brings us pain and difficulty, where are we collectively heading as a society? Can we really achieve and progress if we are not interested in the meaningfulness of what we do and instead focus on our personal, individualhappiness?
In her recent article, Nancy Colier asks: Why do we expect ourselves to be happy all the time? It is a pertinent question and challenges a concept that has been encouraged and celebrated strongly over the past couple of decades, particularly in the United States. The article draws from The Atlantic's original article, which postulates that there is actually more to life that just being happy.
If life isn't about being happy, then what is it about?
Having grown up in a household with a strong Sudanese, community based culture, my younger brother and I were taught the importance of 'duty', and doing things with a purpose, something that offered meaning.
This wasn't something we always understood or appreciated, as for young children and teenagers, the immediate payoff seems to be the most important thing. As time has passed though, I have begun to appreciate the concept behind what my parents tried to teach us.
Meaning can bring happiness, but in of itself is much more profound and encompassing than just 'being happy'.
Meaning is about the concept of working for something larger than your individual person. It is about, as the psychologists who wrote the book Man's Search for Meaning found, being a "giver" instead of a "taker".
It is a concept that implies a fulfilling life isn't one that is focused on personal contentment to the exclusion of any pain, suffering, or any struggle for a better situation. Rather, a fulfilling life is one that gives individuals a reason to be happy - or at the very least, content.
Meaning can come in any number of forms, but it is often related to what we as individuals and society value.
For those who value family, meaning and ensuing happiness can come from providing for the family. For those who are more focused on their career, meaning may take the form of employment related activities. For me personally, meaning comes from working with young people and the community to help empower them, individually and as a group.
Achieving or striving for these may not always be sunshine and roses, and may not always provide immediate happiness. However, the long term strive for meaning gives depth to our lives, and value to what we contribute to in society.
It is that meaning that we can derive true happiness from, knowing that our time on this earth made an impact in some way, and that the world is a little better for us having been in it.
Source of photos: Tumblr
10 Bites of Inspiration: Life and Hope
I am a little bit of a sucker for well put together quotes and pieces of literature that encapsulate a sentiment on life. Here are some quotes, bites, words of wisdom that have provided some food for thought and encouragement for me in the past. I hope you enjoy!**
1.
“Hope has a cost. Hope is not comfortable or easy. Hope requires personal risk. It is not about the right attitude. Hope is not about peace of mind. Hope is action. Hope is doing something. The more futile, the more useless, the more irrelevant and incomprehensible an act of rebellion is, the vaster and more potent hope becomes. Hope never makes sense. Hope is weak, unorganized and absurd. Hope, which is always nonviolent, exposes in its powerlessness, the lies, fraud and coercion employed by the state. Hope knows that an injustice visited on our neighbor is an injustice visited on all of us. Hope posits that people are drawn to the good by the good. This is the secret of hope's power. Hope demands for others what we demand for ourselves. Hope does not separate us from them. Hope sees in our enemy our own face.
CHRIS HEDGES
2.
“The bad news: there is no key to the universe. The good news: it was never locked.”
SWAMI BEYONDANANDA
3.
“If you look at history, even recent history, you see that there is indeed progress...Over time, the cycle is clearly, generally upwards. And it doesn't happen by laws of nature. And it doesn't happen by social laws . . . It happens as a result of hard work by dedicated people who are willing to look at problems honestly, to look at them without illusions, and to go to work chipping away at them, with no guarantee of success - in fact, with a need for a rather high tolerance for failure along the way, and plenty of disappointments.”
NOAM CHOMSKY
4.
“People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily”
ZIG ZIGLAR
5.
“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”
ZIG ZIGLAR
6.
“Your problem is how you are going to spend this one and precious life you have been issued. Whether you're going to spend it trying to look good and creating the illusion that you have power over circumstances, or whether you are going to taste it, enjoy it and find out the truth about who you are.”
ANNE LAMOTT
7.
“There is so much about my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under the jurisdiction. I can decide how I spend my time, whom I interact with, whom I share my body and life and money and energy with. I can select what I can read and eat and study. I can choose how I’m going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life-whether I will see them as curses or opportunities. I can choose my words and the tone of voice in which I speak to others. And most of all, I can choose my thoughts.”
ELIZABETH GILBERT
8.
”Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.”
H. JACKSON BROWN JR.
9.
"Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to require the most from you"
CAROLINE MYSS
10.
“Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”
ALBERT EINSTEIN
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**Some of these photos are unsourced as I have saved them without their origin…if you know the source or would like the photo to be accredited, please let me know!
Be Prepared: Unlikely Inspiration
“You must know that in any moment a decision you make can change the course of your life forever: the very next person stand behind in line or sit next to on an airplane, the very next phone call you make or receive, the very next movie you see or book you read or page you turn could be the one single thing that causes the floodgates to open, and all of the things that you’ve been waiting for to fall into place.” - Anthony Robbins
Some of the biggest changes in my life have occurred after the most unlikely inspiration.
My love of cars and motorsport? From watching a movie when I was 13.
My current job? From chatting to a lady at a jobs stall when I was in first year uni and thinking 'I would love to do that one day'.
Deciding to start an organisation? From attending a conference I applied to late, and a conversation I had with my mum late that night...
Keep an open mind.
You never know when the inspiration will strike, or when your life will change...